Understanding Narcissism Part 1: What Is Narcissism?
This is the first article in MM's five-part series on narcissism. Throughout this series, we'll explore what narcissism really is, what causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), how it is diagnosed, how it can affect relationships, and what current research tells us about treatment. Our aim is to separate myths from the research and provide practical, evidence-based information that supports understanding rather than stigma.
What is Narcissism?
Social media has made it common to label a hurtful or selfish partner, ex-partner, parent, boss or friend as "a narcissist." While some people certainly display narcissistic behaviours, true Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is far less common than many people realise.
At MM, we regularly work with individuals and couples trying to understand confusing relationship dynamics. Clients often ask, "Do you think my partner is a narcissist?"
We All Have Narcissistic Traits
One of the biggest misconceptions is that narcissism is always ‘toxic’ and unhealthy.
In current psychology, healthy narcissism refers to a normal level of self-confidence and self-worth. This healthy level of narcissism allows us to believe we are capable, accept compliments, pursue goals, and maintain healthy boundaries.
Healthy narcissism may look like:
Feeling proud of yourself after achieving a goal.
Being able to accepting praise.
Believing your opinions matter as much as anyone else’s.
Speaking up, asserting and protecting yourself respectfully.
These qualities are not signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In fact, they are important components of stable mental health and self-esteem.
Like many of our personality traits, narcissism exists on a spectrum. Most people will display narcissistic traits only occasionally, particularly during times of stress, insecurity, or major life transitions.
When Does It Become a Problem?
Problems arise when these traits become inflexible, persistent, and begin causing significant difficulties in relationships, work, or everyday functioning.
People with a true clinical diagnosis of narcissism often rely too heavily on admiration, praise, acknowledgement and external validation to maintain their self-esteem. They may become highly defensive and abusive when criticised, struggle to acknowledge their own mistakes, or find it very difficult to genuinely understand another person's perspective.
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a recognised mental health condition described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). It is characterised by a longstanding pattern of grandiosity, a strong need for admiration, and significant impairments in empathy and interpersonal functioning that are present across many areas of life.
Mental health professionals assess long-term personality patterns, developmental history, relationships, and overall functioning before considering any personality disorder diagnosis.
How Common Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Although social media might suggest otherwise, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is quite uncommon.
Current research estimates that approximately 1-2% of the general population meet the criteria for NPD, although occurrence varies across studies depending on how the study participants are assessed.
This means most people who display narcissistic behaviours would not receive a formal clinical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Clinical Insights from MM
Whether someone meets the criteria for NPD or simply displays narcissistic traits, the emotional impact on partners and family members can be significant. Clients often describe feeling confused, walking on eggshells, doubting themselves, or losing confidence in their own judgement.
Therapy focuses on helping clients understand unhealthy relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, establish healthy boundaries, and move towards relationships that feel emotionally safe and respectful.
A Final Note…
At MM, we believe understanding behaviour through a compassionate, evidence-based lens creates greater clarity than relying on labels alone. Whether you are navigating a difficult relationship or questioning patterns within your own life, therapy can provide a safe space to explore these experiences with curiosity, insight, and support.
Next month, in Part 2, we'll explore one of the most common questions we hear in therapy:
What causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Is it just genetics, poor parenting, childhood trauma, or something even more complex?
This article was developed by the author using AI as an editorial tool to assist with drafting and improving readability. All clinical information was reviewed for accuracy and reflects the author's professional knowledge and judgment.