When Love Feels Hard: Does Couples Therapy Actually Help?
If you're feeling stuck, disconnected, or caught in the same arguments with your partner, you're not alone. Many couples in Australia turn to relationship counselling for support. While every relationship is unique, there’s ever growing evidence that couples counselling can make a meaningful difference.
But just how effective is it? Let’s take a closer look at what the research tells us.
What the Numbers Show
According to Relationships Australia, up to 70% of couples report improvements after counselling. Many say they feel more understood, communicate more effectively, and are better equipped to handle challenges together.
Relationships Australia Report
The Australian Government’s report on marriage counselling research found that 79% of women and 91% of men considered divorce or separation less likely after couples counselling.
Furthermore, they found that 78% of women and 83% of men reported that they felt the issues they had sought counselling about, had changed for the better after couples counselling.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of the models used by Motivating Marriages Psychologists, has a success rate of around 75%. Multi-study analyses have shown that around 70–75% of couples report improvements in their relationships after undergoing therapy. One of the most studied and evidence-based approaches, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, demonstrates especially high success rates. Studies indicate that EFT helps approximately 70–90% of couples move from distress to recovery, with substantial long-term gains in relationship satisfaction and emotional closeness.
In the 1980s, therapy for couples had a 50% chance of success. Couples in therapy now have closer to a 75% success rate when using EFT. (Johnson, S., et al. 1999).
Large scale reviews of literature and research show that relationship therapy is clinically effective in reducing relationship distress. (Bradbury & Bodenmann, 2020; Doss et al., 2022; Lebow et al., 2012; Roddy et al., 2020; Shadish & Baldwin, 2003).
Relationship counselling also shows evidence to supporting specific relationship problems such as sexual difficulties and infidelity. (McCarthy & Thestrup, 2008) and (Baucom et al., 2006) respectively.
What Increases the Success of Couples Counselling?
Every couple is unique, and their set of challenges are unique so while it’s hard to generalise, we tend to see four factors that can improve the success of your couple’s counselling.
The Earlier The Better: Counselling is most effective when couples seek support before serious damage has occurred. Although it must be noted that according to Dr. John Gottman, founder of The Gottman Institute, most couples wait an average of six years before seeking couples counseling. So even if you’ve waited a while – you’re not alone!
Shared Commitment: As expected, the best results come when both partners are willing to be open, honest, and actively involved in the process, although it’s important to note that this motivation can increase over the span of the counseling. We at Motivating Marriages often hear that even when one of the partners is not initially keen to attend therapy, but most often once they’ve started coupes therapy, they begin to feel hopeful and more committed to the process.
Qualified and Experienced Therapists: At Motivating Marriages, our sister couples therapy business, we have some of the most skilled and trained relationship counselling Psychologists available with both Kerrie and Adrian being fully registered psychologists with the Psychology Board of Australia, registered Medicare providers and members of the Australian Psychological Society. As well as this they are both Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapists having completed all levels of the training, and finally they have both achieved an externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples.
Individualised Approaches: Cultural, gender, and neurodiversity-aware therapy makes a real difference. The best therapists adapt their approach to reflect each couple’s unique background and needs. Such an important part of the therapy process – individualized treatment plans, no one size fits all approach!
Reconnection Starts with a Conversation
Whether you’re currently navigating a rough patch or want to strengthen your connection for the future, seeking professional support can be one of the most empowering steps you take as a couple.
Relationship counselling can help improve communication, rebuild trust after conflict or betrayal, and provide a safe space to explore complex emotional dynamics that may be difficult to navigate.
Evidence suggests that many couples who engage in therapy experience meaningful improvements in their relationship. In fact, Australian data indicates that around 70% of couples report positive changes following counselling (Energetics Institute, 2023).
Whether you're facing a specific issue or simply wanting to reconnect, therapy offers a structured, supportive approach to building healthier, more resilient relationships.
If you're ready to take the next step, reach out to our couples therapy business Motivating Marriages to learn more about how couples therapy could support your relationship.
By Carlie Kowald